Friday footy fun: The Fat XV
Nick of time … Nick Davis celebrates after breaking the Cats’ hearts back in 2005.
Source:
Gregg Porteous / The Daily Telegraph
The working week is done and it’s time to start thinking about the important things in life; sport, the punt, and a good laugh.
You can Thank Fox It’s Friday and join us for The Fat, a look at sport from a rather different angle.
Every Friday we have the pick of the pigskins for you to get ready for the weekend.
Our experts (a bunch of blokes who watch sport for a crust) across AFL, NRL and Super Rugby come together to deliver The Fat. Clearly we’re going to need your help.
If you’ve got a wager better than our efforts or a joke that tops this week’s sidesplitters, send them in now.
Enjoy The Fat and, more importantly, enjoy your weekend. You’ve earned it.
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FOX SPORTS FIVERS
Got $5 to spare? Why not turn it into a few more bucks with our helpful betting advice. We’ll track the bank for the year.
AFL (Running total: +$10): It’s been a couple of weeks with lopsided odds but value abounds in round 13. It might be lucky for some. Melbourne should get over GWS, Fremantle can take care of Essendon, Collingwood deserve to be favourites and Western Bulldogs will beat Brisbane. That quartet combines for $5.46 at sportsbet.com.au.
NRL (Running total: -$36): It’s hard to like Manly at the best of times, let alone when they cost you the final leg of what would have been a healty kickstart to the week. With the Origin boys back on deck, fit and firing, we’re very keen on the chances of the desperate Dragons 1-12 against the Titans, coupled with the Cowboys to beat Canberra by more than 6.5 points, and the Bulldogs with +10.5 start against the Storm to top up the price. We’re liking the $6.26 on offer with TAB Sportsbet.
Rugby (Running total: -$6): You had to feel for the poor old Irish last weekend. Spare a thought, too, for the punting fraternity at The Fat, who were riding the All Blacks 13+ to deliver some juice to the Saturday night kitty. Nevermind, we’ll reload for the final Test weekend. After a midweek kick-up-the-backside from Steve Hansen, we’re counting on the Kiwis to bounce back in a big way. Take them -14.5, coupled with Wales to finally break through against the Wallabies with a 1-12 victory. Our friends at sportsbet.com.au will give you $5.90 for your troubles.
REMEMBER WHEN
Come with us for a trip down memory lane.
AFL: It is the most famous goal kicked in Sydney Swans history. Nick Davis’s major with three seconds on the clock that sent the red-and-white faithful into raptures. Without his final-quarter blitz against Geelong in the 2005 semi-final there would have been no drought-breaking flag a fortnight later. Davis was an intriguing footballer. He played 71 games for Collingwood after being taken as a father-son selection before homesickness led to a move to the Swans. He managed 97 games, 150 goals, a premiership … but there was always the feeling he had more to offer. Davis was quick with a joke but teammates couldn’t convince him to train as hard as he laughed.
NRL: It’s the battle of the west and the battle of the league’s worst when the lowly Panthers and Eels go head-to-head on Saturday night. Strangely enough, one has to win. The last time they met, the Panthers crushed a Jarryd Hayne-less Eels 39-6 at Parramatta Stadium. Four unanswered first-half tries plus a Travis Burns field-goal on the stroke of halftime catapulted the Panthers to a 23-0 lead at the break. The mountain men added to their tally shortly after the resumption when Brad Tighe scored and they increased their advantage even further with a smart four-pointer to Travis Burns on the hour. Reni Maitua saved some face for the home side when he crossed in the 68th minute before Panthers winger Etuate Uaisele bagged his second try of the evening to complete Parramatta’s 80 minutes from hell.
Rugby: England have shown enough against the Springboks over the last two weeks to suggest they can end their tour on a high with a victory in Port Elizabeth. It’s been 12 long years since England tasted victory in the Republic but there is one man in their current touring squad who knows what it’s like to win in the Rainbow Nation. South African-born assistant coach Mike Catt was part of the Clive Woodward-coached side who claimed victory on the high veldt in Bloemfontein. After losing the first Test 18-13, Woodward’s side levelled the series a week later with a 27-22 victory at Vodacom Park – a triumph that was seen as a giant step towards their 2003 Rugby World Cup crown.
FANTASY ADVICE
Get your teams sorted for the weekend and make sure you get your tips in, too.
AFL: Have you had a nightmare with the first two bye weeks? Well, don’t panic. One more round to take a hit and then it opens up for you. There’s no point burning a couple of trades this weekend, ride out the storm.
NRL: With State of Origin positions potentially on the line, expect livewire duo Matt Bowen and Ben Barba to have blinders in their respective round 16 clashes. Bowen chalked up an impressive 66 points for the Cowboys against the Broncos last week and is sure to cause nightmares for the tiring Raiders big men. Barba is currently second behind Billy Slater in the overall return for fullbacks this season, and will be particularly motivated in front of his home crowd in Mackay.
Rugby: Another weekend to gather your thoughts. Use it wisely.
JOKE OF THE WEEK
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for 10 years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.”
The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.”
The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.”
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!”, he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”
Then she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?” He replies, “Ten years!” She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!” Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him: “And how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?”
The man replies, “Wow! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there!”
Is The Fat missing something? Have you got a helpful hint? Drop us an email now.
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Categories: Fat Loss Diary Tags: AFL, Nick Davis, NRL, Travis Burns
Friday footy fun: The Fat XI
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The working week is done and it’s time to start thinking about the important things in life; sport, the punt, and a good laugh.
You can Thank Fox It’s Friday and join us for The Fat, a look at sport from a rather different angle.
Every Friday we have the pick of the pigskins for you to get ready for the weekend.
Our experts (a bunch of blokes who watch sport for a crust) across AFL, NRL and Super Rugby come together to deliver The Fat. Clearly we’re going to need your help.
If you’ve got a wager better than our efforts or a joke that tops this week’s sidesplitters, send them in now.
Enjoy The Fat and, more importantly, enjoy your weekend. You’ve earned it.
Start of sidebar. Skip to end of sidebar.
End of sidebar. Return to start of sidebar.
FOX SPORTS FIVERS
Got $5 to spare? Why not turn it into a few more bucks with our helpful betting advice. We’ll track the bank for the year.
AFL (Running total: +$30): The free money theory from last week didn’t work out. Not even close. We reckon it’s time to get the confidence back up with a straightforward collect. West Coast, North Melbourne, Sydney, Port Adelaide, Hawthorn and Geelong to win. That’s a $7.41 option with sportsbet.com.au.
NRL (Running total: -$21): Those wascally Warriors let us NRL punters down with their second-half capitulation last week, but we certainly won’t be slowing down. This time, we’re going to back Wayne Bennett’s old and new side who know how to grind out a win in the Origin period. So take the Knights 1-12 against the Titans and the Dragons 1-12 against the Eels, with Souths -4.5 against the Raiders to top it off. You’ll get $11.94 with our friends at TAB Sportsbet.
Super Rugby (Running total: +$14): Our three-legger didn’t go as planned last week so we’re going back to two legs this week. With the Brumbies-Reds clash too close to call, we’re going with our heads rather than our hearts and tipping against the Waratahs and Rebels. Get on the Cheetahs to beat the Tahs by 1-12 and the Hurricanes to get over the Rebels by 1-12. Combine that and you get the juicy odds of $5.38, courtesy of our friends at sportsbet.com.au.
SNAP OF THE WEEK
Battered, but never broken. Lleyton Hewitt saddles up for the French Open this weekend. He’s never been beyond the quarter-finals on the clay. He needed a wildcard to even show his face this time around. He’s no chance of adding to his Major collection. But that’s not going to stop him from giving his all. It’s been the way he’s played for more than a decade. This is him in 1998 when the Crows were winning flags and he was winning tournaments. At least Adelaide are going well now.
REMEMBER WHEN
Come with us for a trip down memory lane.
AFL: With Collingwood and Adelaide in this weekend’s match of the round we thought we’d head back to the 2009 finals this week. The Magpies and Crows staged a titanic MCG tussle with the likes of Tippett, Dangerfield and Thompson leading the way for the visitors. But the Magpies had John Anthony to thank for extending their season when he kicked a match-winning goal in the five-point result.
NRL: After Wednesday night’s State of Origin blockbuster, all rugby league eyes will again turn to Melbourne when the Storm host the Broncos in a top-of-the-table clash at AAMI Park. Brisbane know all too well how hard the Storm are to knock off at home; a reality they were dealt when the two sides last met in round 20 last year. After the scores were level at 6-6 at half-time, the Storm went up a gear to completely stun the Broncos and run away with a 26-6 win in front of their home fans
Super Rugby: How quickly things can change. It was almost a year to the day that a struggling Brumbies side took on, and beat, the all-conquering Reds, who went on to win the 2011 Super Rugby competition. Hooker Stephen Moore was the try-scoring hero for the men from Canberra, while Ben Lucas scored for the Reds. Just to add insult to injury, Matt Giteau (remember him?) slotted a penalty after the full-time siren to deny the Reds a bonus point. As a side note, this was one of the first Super Rugby games that Pat McCabe played at inside centre, proving so effective that he ended up playing there for the Wallabies at the World Cup.
FANTASY ADVICE
Get your teams sorted for the weekend and make sure you get your tips in, too.
AFL: Crack. And there goes Marc Murphy. Maybe for the rest of the season. So, with money in your pocket, let’s go find a midfield replacement. Callan Ward ($492,000) has been very solid for the Giants, and is a unique option, as is Jordan Lewis ($498,900) from Hawthorn.
NRL: Agonising over the Origin period? Why not pick up a player not in blue or maroon, but in the red and green? Souths hooker Issac Luke has been working into some ominous form as the Bunnies continue their surge up the ladder. The wily dummy-half bagged 64 points last weekend against the Dragons and should be able to pick up plenty of metres against tiring Canberra forwards on Friday night. Grab him for $373k on the Fantasy NRL market.
Super Rugby: Kurtley Beale has been racking up the points since moving to fly half for Melbourne Rebels, and we think his run will continue against the Hurricanes this weekend. Meanwhile, for all you Sona Taumalolo fans – and we know there are a lot of them – he has been moved to the bench by the Chiefs this week, so you may want to give him a rest from your Fantasy side as well.
JOKE OF THE WEEK
Patrick Dangerfield is the flavour of the month in the AFL. Rodney Dangerfield was a very funny man who appeared in some very funny films. Here’s a selection of Rodney’s one-liners.
I was such an ugly kid … when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Is The Fat missing something? Have you got a helpful hint? Drop us an email now.
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Categories: Fat Loss Diary Tags: AFL, money, NRL, Super Rugby
Sterling takes aim at ‘fat’ Sandow
Updated: 17:19, Tuesday April 10, 2012
Parramatta legend Peter Sterling has fired a stinging shot at Eels half-back Chris Sandow, claiming he is not living up to his big-money price tag because he is too fat.
Sandow was being hailed as the answer to the Eels’ troublesome no.7 jersey when he moved to the club in the off-season on a deal worth $550,000 a year.
But the 23-year-old has so far failed to live up to his hefty pay packet with the Eels struggling at the bottom of the NRL ladder with just one win from six games.
When asked on Triple M’s Monday Night Football why he thought Sandow was struggling, Sterling got straight to the point.
‘I think Chris Sandow is overweight,’ Sterling said.
‘I think he’s playing four or five kilos above what he should be paying. And it affects your sharpness.’
‘There’s no way you can carry weight in this game … or very few players can.’
‘Looking at him, I don’t think he’s fit. If he did (lose four or five kilograms), he’d be sharper than he is.’
While most of the Eels squad are playing well below their best, playmaker Sandow has been the biggest disappointment.
He has only laid on two try assists over the first six games, has missed 30 tackles and most worryingly appears to be playing without any confidence at all.
Sterling was also highly critical of the Eels defence over the first six rounds, labelling it ‘disgraceful’, while he believes Stephen Kearney’s side are playing with fear.
‘To me they look like a nervous team,’ he said.
‘It appears they’re waiting for the mistake to happen, or they’re waiting for the bad stroke of luck to hit them.’
‘I’ve got no problems with players making mistakes, as long as they make mistakes doing something positive.’
The Eels task to get their season off the ground starts on Sunday with a trip to Cronulla to play the in-form Sharks.
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Article source: http://www.skynews.com.au/sport/article.aspx?id=738215&vId=
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Categories: Fat Loss Diary Tags: Chris Sandow, NRL, Stephen Kearney, Tuesday April